Am i too young to look for love? Am i too young to fall in love?

Personally i believe that i'm not too young to look for love, but definitely too young to fall in love at the moment. 

I feel i am mature enough to make the decisions in life though i might not have reached complete maturity. 

Having a split personality is turning out to be a bad idea... hahaha. People either think i'm a joke/immature or i'm no fun. 

"I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul"

- Beautiful Soul by Jesse Mccartney

The doctors got it wrong...

The most painful thing to hear is not the loudest sounds like a Jet engine, but SILENCE! 

"Every one knows you're my one regret.

Every one knows you're my one weakness." - Last Goodnight

3yrs ago i met you by accident. You blew me away with your looks, character and heart. You showed me what a great friend i had in you, and you made me feel special. Thanks to my stupid decisions things slipped away, and we drifted apart. After i walked away i tried to deceive myself and repair the broken heart. Nothing seemed to work till CDO and my ambitions came around. I was back to leading my boring old life. 

I was lucky enough to have you walk into my life once again. I didn't want to mess things up so i decided to tell you the truth. Things seemed smooth sailing till i discovered that both of us seemed a little confused. Both of us had issues to resolve. i'll be waiting till the day i can talk to you...

I dont really care about the movies we get to watch, or the things we get to do together. I just wanna talk to you and resolve the issues as a friend and nothing more. i know "It's not the same, no it's never the same...if you don't feel it too..." and that's why i need to talk.

"When I needed a place to hang my heart
You were there to wear it from the start
And with every breath of me, you'll be the only light I see"

P.S 

were the "huns" typo errors? or was i imagining things? 

Bet all of you didn't catch the spelling mistake in the title! 16years ago i started of at my aunt's place learning how to write and spell, well when i was 2 1/2 yrs old i made the spelling mistake many many times. My mum used to bring on long bus rides all the way from jurong west to hougang and back just to ensure i started early. Well things were going very well, as i enrolled into my first school! PAP pre-school located somewhere in jurong West Street 52. Well at that point of time i thought i was some genius destined for greatness or smth as i seemed to own every single test, getting nothing but full marks. Was even chosen to give a prepared farewell speech in tamil! Though i din even understand a single word! LOLS. Then came my enrollment into Rulang Primary School, well up till primary 2 i was still in this delusional world that i'm bloody smart cos i kept owning stuff... up till primary 3 where all the smart ppl were in one class did i realise... Man i'm damn suck. hahaha. I was always the bottome 2-3 in my class. Lols. Well then came primary 4 and the distractions of football, other sports, and robotics came into play and i further deproved. 90 smth's become 80 smths. LOLS. During PSLE i somehow managed to do fairly well and well once again bottom 2-3 in my class with a score of 254! haha. Well my dreams of becoming a rafflesian crashed and burned. LOLs.

Got into Acs, fell in love with the school and the friends! hahaha the all boys atmosphere was bloody awesome, all the stupid and crazy things we used to do. haha good old times. Well since it was sec 1 and who cares if you fail any of the subjects? Not like you're gonna get retained! hahaha so i pretty much din touch math cos i hated it for the first two yrs, and i failed life sciences till paul cheong came. hahaa. In sec 2 mid years i did the unthinkable and screwed up english failing the exam and almost blowing my chance to get into the IB programme. LOLs. But once again i managed to pull the rabbit out of the hat and got into the IB programme in the final year examination after being on probation. LOLS. Once again in sec 3 and 4 it was all slack and no work. hahaha awesomest class of guys i've ever met, soccer bonded us all. All the trash talking with paul chuan and about soccer. BLOODY AWESOME!

Somehow i managed to get to yr5 and they even allowed me to take my preferred combination of bio chem math hl and eng tamil econs sl. LOLs considering i got a 4 for everything except bio for my sec 4 eoys. LOLS. First half of yr 5 was exciting fun and one of the sweetest times of my life. Then as everything started turning sour and i started failing in everything. Well at least i was consistent... i always failed math. Hahaha. TIll yr 5 EOY's where i got a grand total of 32, with a 2 for math and a 6 for everything else except for bio which i got a 5. LOLS. Then the slogging was suppose to start, but well being the best procrastinator i slacked. My ee got thrown away by my mum, so i had to chiong my ee in a month. My oh my... was it one heck of a crazy month. Juggling running, soccer, mr and my ee was one heck of a job. Hahaha after all the iocs, iops, tok ops and ias were all done we had 2 weeks to study for prelims. Well once again i nvr did get a 7! messed up econs and well first time in a long time i passed math with a grade 4. lols. IB examinations came and went... was hoping to get 39pts! Well by a major stroke of luck i managed to exceed my expectations and wala here i am! hoping to get into Nus medicine!

The thing that struck me was that well the stuff you get later in your life depends on how much you put in at the start of it! Well it din really strike me till my aunt was telling me, that the result itself is a result of years of hardwork. 16yrs of education to arrive at this one moment. All ready to embark on the next educational journey, and to take the next step in my life!

2009 brings to an end my JC life. It was one filled with a lot of happy moments like finally forming our school's A div soccer team, finally completing a marathon (well a couple of marathons...), made new friends... pretty awesome ones, and all the small happy moments shared amongst frens. Well i had my fair share of sad moments too... got owned my chok, din make it to the 2nd round in a div, manu losing the UCl final in 2009, and losing a fren due to a stupid mistake.
Towards the end of the year i just felt "down like the economy" with things pilling on, i made more mistakes. So all i'm hoping for is that things get better in 2010... i keep telling myself things are sooo bad, they can't get any worse, so it can only get better! First impressions are that things aren't gonna get better immediately... but lets give it time. I'm really hoping February 5th comes sooner than later!